Are you free?

I’m afraid.

To trust again.

To “love” again.

To give myself to others, again.

I give, give, give and give.

Until I am left nothing.

I thought by giving your all you’ll be receiving as much in return.

But investments are never fair. Time and love are your currency, pain and fear are your products. Dependency on the uncertain would never fulfill.

I’m aware of the need to surrender it all to Him because He is the owner of it all. All legal rights are on Him whose everything belongs.

But I broke the rules of the heavens. I am a prisoner of trepidation.

I must break free. Soon, I’ll break free. Every action has a consequence. It’s a necessity to repent within my sentence.

And when I get out, I make sure to be the guard of my heart and its defense. Never again will I be in prison detained because of unsetting of boundaries. Never again to accept any offense. I would finally gain liberty from all this distress. I might take a new career actually after these, it might be “teaching” I guess. I would be my own instructor, teaching my future self, and you, who's reading this right now how I’ve dealt with and triumphed over the ache and disappointment.

With this, I’ve learned that love is not suffocating. That “true love” is freeing. You’ll learn how to truly love by loving Him first. Then, loving others as yourself.

I think life’s currency is not money actually. Money is a piece of paper you can crumble. Time should be your currency. A prisoner spends his time dreaming big. He might be physically detained, but his mind is truly free. Inside a four-cornered room is a person who had explored past the dimension we see. He thinks and reflects on the possibilities of life – on how endless it is.

It can be concluded that love is not in the seen – but in the unseen. Love is complex. Love is ethereal. It occupies everything and bends with anything. Love is free-flowing. Love never drains you. It fills up the space within you until you are overflowed and filled. Love gives you hope. Love destroys chains.



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Lei 🌬

Lei 🌬


That girl who loves the sound of pouring rain, scent of old books and smell of a newly opened car.